Welcome to Drop the Rope! I’d like to talk a little bit about what this blog is all about and why I wanted to start it. I recently went through a difficult emotional experience involving a change in relationship with someone very important to me. This experience has become a catalyst for the rest of my life. I’ve spent the last year vigorously working through my trauma and focusing on strengthening myself so that I could overcome my addiction to pornography. It seems that everything I’ve gone through in the last two years was preparing me to finally start on the path that I am now treading.
It seems that God has finally eliminated all of the excuses in my life that were holding me back, and I’ve felt His call to change the world. God has shown me that I have an immense capacity to help others find healing and hope in the ways that I have. Don’t get me wrong, after this recent difficult experience, I am still dealing with a lot of pain and hurt. But I also feel a pulsing strength in my veins that I’ve never felt before. My path is one of greatness, and I’m finally ready to walk down it with my head held high.
I decided to call this blog Drop the Rope after remembering a conversation that I once had with a therapist. He had told me that fighting addiction is like playing tug-o-war with a giant monster. This monster is bigger and stronger than me. No matter how hard I pull on the rope, no matter how long I tug and tug, and no matter how much effort I put into it, I will always lose. He then told me that I had to learn to simply drop the rope. I believe that dropping the rope means accepting powerlessness over addiction. It didn’t mean that I throw in the towel, but it meant that my ‘white-knuckle’ (a phrase I will explain more in later posts) efforts would never work. I had to accept that I had some trauma to work through (which I still am working through) and that I would have to turn it over to God.
I have struggled with sex addiction for most of my life. For years, I felt that something was wrong with me. I never felt confident in my worthiness as a human or as a son of God. I was told that turning to God through the gospel of Jesus Christ would bring me peace, but instead, it brought me shame. I never felt good enough. For myself or anyone else. For years, I was convinced that overcoming my addiction to pornography and masturbation was impossible. I thought that I wasn’t deserving of a happy and fulfilling life. But by experiences too miraculous to call coincidental, I found the path to hope, healing, and recovery. Life is still hard and terrifying, but I now have great hopes for the future God is lining up for me. Let me share some of that hope with you. Whether you’re struggling with addiction yourself, love someone who is struggling with it, or are just looking for some hope and strength… Welcome to Drop the Rope.